


singing softly

by clintbartonswife



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 5 + 1 Things, Captain America: The First Avenger, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pre-Captain America: The First Avenger, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Singing, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:41:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22334347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clintbartonswife/pseuds/clintbartonswife
Summary: Five times Bucky sang to Steve throughout their lives and one time Steve returned the favour“Of all the money that e'er I spent, I spent it in good company”Sarah blinked out of her thoughts as Bucky’s soft voice broke the silence, the boy focusing solely on Steve as he stroked his hair out of his face, one pale hand moving to rest over Bucky’s chest.“And all the harm that ever I did, Alas it was to none but me”He was feeling the vibrations, Sarah figured, a small smile pulling at her lips as she watched them. A bond that close was all she could ever wish for her child. It would outlast her, that she was sure of.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 6
Kudos: 85





	singing softly

**1\. (1925)**  
Wet coughs were muffled with small, pale hands.  
Bucky had been there since early morning, ever since the news had spread that the Roger’s boy was sick again, only ever letting go of Steve’s hand to wet the rag that he gently wiped across the blond’s sweaty forehead.  
Sarah looked in on the two silently from the doorway, eyes creasing in concern for her only child. He had caught the flu again, the cold weather outside grating on his fragile lungs more than he could handle.  
But Bucky, the boy was a mystery to Sarah. Ever since they had met two years ago, the eight-year-olds had been inseparable, much to her surprise. Bucky was a tall, strong boy, and most like him had shunned Steve for his small and sickly nature. Not Bucky. No, that seemed to make the brunet almost more protective of Steve than he was his sisters, always saving his from playground fights.  
“ _Of all the money that e'er I spent, I spent it in good company_ ”  
Sarah blinked out of her thoughts as Bucky’s soft voice broke the silence, the boy focusing solely on Steve as he stroked his hair out of his face, one pale hand moving to rest over Bucky’s chest.  
“ _And all the harm that ever I did, Alas it was to none but me_ ”  
He was feeling the vibrations, Sarah figured, a small smile pulling at her lips as she watched them. A bond that close was all she could ever wish for her child. It would outlast her, that she was sure of.

 **2\. (1933)**  
The funeral was a quiet affair.  
Sarah Roger’s friends from church attended the ceremony, along with a few of the nurses who shared her shift and - of course - the Barnes family. Steve was sure they had been giving him their regards, but he heard none of them.  
He just stood there, staring as the coffin was lowered gently into the grave, yearning to hold Bucky’s hand.  
Later that night, back in the too-empty apartment, Bucky held him to his chest as they lay together in bed, running a soothing hand up and down the smaller man’s back.  
“She’s gone”  
He sounded so desolate, so hopeless, that it almost made Bucky cry. The brunet just murmured his acknowledgement, tightening his hold even more.  
“It hurts. I - Tell me how to breathe in and feel no hurt”  
Bucky’s heart squeezed painfully, his hand moving to cup the back of Steve’s neck, “Just keep breathing” he eventually said, “It doesn’t ever go away but I’ll be here to help lessen it every day - I promise”  
Steve just nodded, letting silence fall over them again for a few more minutes.  
“Buck” Steve whispered, forehead resting against his collarbone, “sing for me?”  
Bucky huffed a laugh, pressing a kiss to the top of his head before clearing his throat,  
“ _Oh Danny boy, the pipes the pipes are calling-_ ”  
As Bucky’s soothing voice filled the room, Steve began to gently sob, the Irish melody easing the pain in his chest, even if only for a moment. He stayed wrapped in strong arms the whole time, the feeling of safety and protection only growing as his crying began to fade out.  
Bucky watched him with soft eyes, hands moving upwards to stroke through his hair as the younger boy began to doze off to the sound of his voice.  
“ _For you shall bend and tell me that you love me, And I shall sleep in peace until you come to me_ ”  
The tell-tale sounds of Steve’s relaxed breathing made Bucky smile, glad that the distraught boy had finally managed to fall asleep.

 **3\. (1937)**  
“C’mon Stevie” Bucky groaned, collapsing onto the sofa, “it’s your birthday, we gotta do something!”  
Steve smirked at the bratty behaviour, crossing his arms, “We don’t gotta do anything, Buck”  
“But it’s your 21st!” Bucky said, waving his arms around as if the notion was ridiculous, “It’s a special one! Anything you want - just say it and we’ll do it”  
Steve raised an eyebrow, steeping in-between Bucky’s legs, gaining the brunet’s attention.  
“Anything?”  
Bucky nodded hesitantly, eyes darkening as he watched Steve lean down so that their faces were mere inches apart.  
“Dance with me. Just us, in this apartment” he said simply, “That’s what I want”  
“You’re a tease Steven Rogers” Bucky grinned, jumping up off of the sofa with joyful exuberance before offering the shorter boy his hand, “Would you do m the honour of dancin’ with me?”  
Steve chuckled, quickly walking over to set the needle on the bust-up grammar phone before heading back to Bucky, accepting his hand.  
The two swayed gently to the soft tones of Billie Holiday ‘If You Were Mine’, Steve’s head moving to rest gently on the dip of Bucky’s collar bone, a place Bucky had secretly reserved for him.  
Roughly halfway through the song, Steve closed his eyes, the vibrations of Bucky singing along to the music creating a unique comforting sensation that he wished he could save forever.  
“ _If you were mine, I would live for your love alone_ ”  
The atmosphere changed as Bucky’s cheek moved to rest against the top of Steve’s head, the words resonating with the two young men more than they thought was possible.  
“ _To kneel at your shrine, I would give up all that I own_ ”  
Steve moved then, tilting his head up so that their noses were only a breaths-width away from touching.  
“Buck-”  
Before he could voice his thoughts, Bucky’s lips were connecting with his, soft and slow, their bodies still swaying slowly in time to the music.  
“ _Even my life, I’d trade it all for you, And think I was lucky too, If you were mine_ ”

 **4\. (1940)**  
“Buck?”  
The apartment was quiet - too quiet for Steve’s liking - especially as Bucky should’ve come home from the docks an hour ago. Frowning, Steve carried on walking to the kitchen, only to find an ashen-faced Bucky clutching a letter in his hand.  
“Buck?” Steve repeated, his voice seemingly snapping the brunet out of his stupor.  
“Oh - sorry, doll. I didn’t hear you come in” Bucky said, shoving the letter in his pocket and standing up to pull Steve into a hug, hands still shaking slightly, “Must’ve overworked myself today at the docks”  
Steve accepted the hug, trying his best to soothe his boyfriend, before pulling back just enough to see his face.  
“What’s this really about?”  
The older man’s face dropped, releasing a wavering sigh before sitting down heavily on one of the dining chairs, gesturing for Steve to do the same. He pulled out the letter from before and passed it to Steve, eyes full of barely-restrained dread.  
“I don’t understand -” Steve said, looking over the letter, before a icy dagger of fear went through his chest, “Oh Bucky”  
“I’ve been drafted” he said, voice tight, “Sargent Barnes of the 107th”  
“I - I’ve got to - to sign up. I’ll come with you”  
“Steve no-”  
“I’ll go to the pop-up, down by the bakers - tomorrow. We can - we can figure this out”  
By now he was sounding hysterical even to himself, Bucky moving out of his chair to kneel in front of Steve, taking his hands in his own.  
“No, Steve. _No_. I need you to be safe. Please. At least when I have to go I’ll do it knowing I’ll be keeping you safe”  
That finally ripped a sob from Steve, who shook his head madly and gripped onto his hands even tighter.  
“How long?”  
“Two weeks and I’m off to England”  
Another sob was torn from Steve’s throat, Bucky quickly moving to wrap Steve in up his arms, cradling his small body and rocking back and forth. At a loss of what else to do, Bucky wiped his own tears from his eyes before shakily beginning to sing one of their favourite songs.  
“ _Till the end of time, long as stars are in the blue, long as there’s a spring, a bird to sing, I’ll go on loving you_ ”  
Steve shifted in his lap, pressing his cheek firmly to Bucky’s chest as his sobbing died down slightly, moving his arms to wrap around Bucky’s waist.  
“You promise?”  
His voice was quiet, almost reluctant, muffled against the scratchy material of Bucky’s work shirt. Nevertheless, Bucky caught it, immediately halting his singing and moving Steve so that they were looking into each other’s eyes.  
“Promise Stevie, no one’s ever gonna replace you”  
“And you’ll come home?”  
“I’ll fight like hell to”

 **5\. (1941)**  
“We can take a break here for a few hours, tend to the wounded” Steve announced, “We should be far away enough by now”  
Bucky felt like he was going insane. He should be dead, strapped to that medical table, yet here he is, following Steve - _his Stevie_ \- out of hell, while he looks like he’s been pumped with a thousand different kinds of steroids.  
A light pressure on his back moved him away from the mass of soldier’s, the smell reassuring him that he was safe, that it was just Steve.  
“You okay Buck?”  
He scoffed, looking up - he had to look up - to meet his eyes, “I don’t think I’m the one who should be answering that question right now”  
“Buck-”  
“You promised me you’d stay home, Stevie”  
“If I had you could’ve died in there -”  
“At least you would’ve been safe!”  
The blond dropped his head in defeat, his whole body radiating his silent apology.  
“I couldn’t live with myself knowing you were fighting out here while I was just sat at home”  
A bitter chuckle, hand reaching up to cup the side of his neck, “You’ve never been able to do that, huh”  
“I knew I couldn’t let you fight alone, Buck” Steve admitted quietly, still looking down, “And I’m glad I didn’t. Seeing you on that table-”  
“I know” Bucky breathed, pulling the blond into a firm hug - the most he could do while they were this much in the open, “we’ll talk more when we get back to base, okay?”  
Steve just nodded, straightening his posture before stepping out of the hug, his Captain persona firmly back on.  
“I can wait”  
Roughly 12 hours later, the rag-tag group arrived back to camp to cheers of ‘Captain America!’, a very pretty brunette (that Bucky was _not_ jealous of at all) greeting Steve with a proud smile.  
By the time they were allowed to go to the barracks - ‘ _Bucky’s staying with me, sir, he was in bad shape and I’d like to keep an eye on him_ ’ - the older man was well and truly exhausted.  
“So - Peggy”  
Steve sighed, running his hands over his face dramatically, “It’s not like that”  
“Sure pal”  
“No. Really” Steve insisted, grabbing Bucky’s chin, forcing their eyes to meet, “It’s not like that”  
Bucky hummed, climbing into the bed with a well-practice air of blasé.  
“Buck, I swear it” Steve said, voice quiet, “I missed you so much”  
“You wouldn’t have to hide with her”  
“What?”  
“Peggy. You wouldn’t have to hide with Peggy”  
A small sad sound came from behind him, followed by a sudden shoot of movement as Steve climbed on to the bed with Bucky, his newly-enlarged form swamping the man with his hug as he was pulled into a strong chest.  
“But I don’t love her. I love you, you know this”  
As soon as the first tear escaped Bucky’s eye he knew he was fucked, his hand reaching up to grab on to Steve’s arm.  
“I don’t know what they did to me Steve. I don’t - I don’t know what they did and I don’t know if I can protect you anymore”  
“You don’t need to protect me anymore” the blond said, truthfulness radiating from every pore, “I can help myself now. We can protect each other”  
Another muffled sob. Bucky wiggled around in Steve’s arms so that they were face-to-face, his hand resting on his cheek.  
“I love you so much”  
“I love you too”  
“Punk”  
“Jerk”  
The two of them lied there, entwined in each other’s arms as Bucky’s cries slowly died down.  
“Buck?”  
“Yeah?”  
“I missed your singing” Steve admitted, “the apartment was too quiet without it”  
Bucky huffed a laugh, readjusting himself so that he was facing Steve head-on.  
“If you wanted me to sing all you had to do was ask, you punk”  
Steve let out a soft giggle, tears welling in his eyes as Bucky began to sing, his voice softer than normal.  
“ _How much do I love you? I’ll tell you no lie, How deep is the ocean? How high is the sky?_ ”

 **+1 (2015)**  
Steve had finally found him. Bucky was home.  
Well - not _home_ \- both of them had lost their homes years ago, but together, as bruised and broken as they might be. And for now? That was enough.  
“Steve?”  
Bucky’s monotone voice broke the heavy silence that had fallen over the apartment, the blond’s head whipping around to face him. Seeing he had his attention, Bucky continued.  
“Did you ever sing to me?”  
The question sent Steve’s stomach plunging, a small flicker of hope blooming in his chest at the slightly wrong memory.  
“No, but you used to sing to me all the time” Steve said, shuffling slightly closer to Bucky, watching as his eyes lit up with the confirmation, “you used to do it to calm me down when I was stressed or upset”  
Bucky nodded, biting his lip thoughtfully.  
“Could you - could you sing something for me?”  
His voice was soft and unsure, the timid expression something Steve was reluctant to say he was now used to seeing on Bucky’s face.  
“If you really want me to I will - but I’m nowhere near as good as you”  
“I’m sure that’s not true” Bucky said, smiling as he relaxed marginally into his seat.  
Steve fidgeted in his seat as he wondered what to sing, his mind going back to the first time Bucky sang to him. A small smile flitted across his face at the memory, deciding the on the old melody.  
“ _Of all the money that e'er I spent, I spent it in good company_ “  
Bucky let out a soft noise, peacefulness oozing from him as he completely relaxed in his seat, letting Steve’s voice drown out the rest of his thoughts.  
“ _And all the harm that ever I did, Alas it was to none but me_ ”  
Steve watched Bucky raptly, searching for any spark of recognition.  
“ _And all I’ve done for want of wit, To memory now I can’t recall_ ”  
Steve’s next words died in his throat as Bucky opened his mouth, the smooth voice he had been yearning to hear suddenly filling the room.  
“ _So fill to me the parting glass, Good night and joy be with you all_ ”  
The two men fell silent, seemingly at a standstill while Bucky digested the new memories. Steve held his breath, hope now beating ceaselessly against his ribs.  
“ _Stevie_ ”  
It was just a breath, no louder than an feather falling to the ground, but Steve knew.  
Bucky remembered.

**Author's Note:**

> Songs:  
> 1\. The Parting Glass  
> 2\. Danny Boy by Frederic Weatherly  
> 3\. If You Were Mine by Billie Holiday  
> 4\. Til the end of time by Les Brown  
> 5\. How Deep Is The Ocean by Irving Berlin  
> +1 The Parting Glass


End file.
